do your toes get stepped on easily? mine do. i try not to let it, but they do. it hasn't happened recently - well, the potential for it to happen happened, but i moved them out of the way quickly enough to avoid it.
part of my recent epiphany, and i sort of touched on this part toward the end of "first blog." is that, when i am in control of my life and responsible for my choices, there's no one to blame when something doesn't go "right". and, even though it's still not "right" (and i say "right" in quotes because there's still the inevitable Power of the Universe who has a little bit more say-so than i do on matters concerning me and just because i don't think it's "right" doesn't mean it isn't), there's something still liberating that things ended up that way because of the choices that i made. like, i could even say to someone, "i meant for that to happen" when my ego is too big to admit that i didn't. anyway, it's neither here nor there.
my point is, i don't have to let my toes be stepped on. not only that, but part of (somewhat)controlling my destiny means that i don't have to be unkind to someone else because they were mean to me first. who knows what kind of day -or life- they're having that would cause them to act out that way? it's not personal. they're not out to get me. that is HUGE for me to say that. i used to think that everyone was. one story robin magraw mentioned in her book was when she and "phillip" said something that upset her one day and, after about a 24-hour silent treatment, she told him what was wrong and he said to her, "one thing i need you to do for me is to ask yourself if i meant to hurt you on purpose." that really changed me. i really believe that people don't mean to hurt the people they love on purpose. and to realize that changes my response - something i can control. i don't have to feel or be defensive. i can just be me.
i know i'm supposed to be talking about creative juices but lori set this up so i would also just have a place to write. while i'm here at work, it helps. so, thanks, lori.
one of my artists is coming in now. more later.
1 comment:
You're welcome. Your post really got me thinking as well.
btw, I let my toes get stepped on all the time, and bristle at the thought of hurting others' feelings. I liken myself to a human doormat, which is so unhealthy. Taking on too much work because I can't say, "no." Not standing up to my son's teacher to say, "Hey, it's your job to control your classroom. My kid is not the only one who gets into trouble." Stuff like that. In the long run, I'm the one who ends up tired, bitter and angry.
Perhaps it's time for me to allow myself to trod on some toes?
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